Pietist: You can't read that!

Me: Sure I can. I learned how to read in first grade.

Pietist: Well, you should NOT read that book!

Me: Why not?

Pietist: It's satanic. It will corrupt your soul.

Me: How do you know? Have you read it?

Pietist: No. But I can tell by the cover.

Me:

Pietist: You know, "Garbage in, garbage out!" You will be polluted!

Me: I don't believe that.

Pietist: Here's a good booklet that will tell you what I mean.

Me: 20 Steps to Purifying Your Heart?

Pietist: Yes, it is so biblical. You'll be more godly after you purge your soul and clear your thoughts. The first step is how to discern and destroy all materials that are satanic.

Me: (speed reads the first step in the 100-page book).

Pietist: Isn't that great?

Me: Is this mine?

Pietist: Oh yes! It will help you so much.

Me: (Rips the book apart.)

Pietist: HEY! What are you doing?

Me: Doing what the first step said to do. You know, garbage in, garbage out.